Tidy Butt: Men are too tough to talk!
Introducing Tidy Butt
Being from a small village in the South Wales valleys it’s never been the done thing to talk about feelings or emotions. We come from a hard line of proud working men. Showing vulnerability was classed as weak; you get your head down and get on with it.
This inability to deal with feelings and emotions, or not having the confidence to talk, because of the worry of appearing weak, meant that things got dealt with in other ways. Hitting the self-destruct button, drinking, drugs and fighting becomes the go-to options to deal with the problems people are facing.
Dealing with our thoughts, feeling and emotions this way, not only magnifies the initial problem, but also brings a whole new set of issues. Days ‘off the wagon’ turn into weeks, then into months and before you know it your whole life is in chaos.
For some, these ways of coping are learned behaviours from parents and grandparents. But there are more positive ways to deal with our problems and the life challenges we face. The first is facing up to the fact that there’s a problem, the second is talking about it.
So, how can we encourage men to talk, show vulnerability and deal with feelings and emotions?
What can you do if you’re struggling?
If you don’t have the confidence to talk face to face, there are other options that could help.
- You are not alone. Start by going online. There are several forums where you can read other people’s struggles and stories.
- Post your stories or struggles in these or other forums. Even if only a short version. Communicating and writing about struggles have a way of helping us feel “unburdened.”
- Attend a support group. Many are built around the idea of anonymity.
At Tidy Butt we aim to create a safe space for men and women to have the ability to talk openly and honestly about their mental health.
Through our talking group, wellness walking group and cold water dippers we get together with other like minded people and support each other in whatever way possible.
It’s not always a wellbeing conversation it’s just knowing that you’re not alone and there’s other people going through the same. This has had great results for members of our community and the Tidy Butt community is growing and becoming stronger, week on week.
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